I Have A Confession

My confession is that I do not speak what is true.

It is true.

Uppermost in my mind has been the state of being of those around me and of my concern for the so-called 'well being'. Now I think that what is at stake here is that I submit to the will of others so that I will not rock their boat. The ensuing pandemonium gives me pause in that it is quite unsettling for those involved.

That unsettling, that concern for the self-inflicted torment of others is what provides the impetus for my reservations. While someone is beating their thumb with a hammer, I have had great concern for my participation in having them swing their hammer with even more gusto. When another is harming themselves I have felt a great responsibility in not providing additional justification and justifications for their continued and on-going demise.

In other words, I have held back. I have held myself in reserve so that another may make their way. Perhaps it can be looked at as being the rug mat so that another may come clean in order to move forward.

It's true, I do take a beating.

And in my constant evaluation of being 'right' all my actions are of course true and correct.

Only they are not. They all depend upon a preset assumption of the order of things. As I do not take myself seriously all that I can say is...

Holy shit!

Yes. It is holy but are we not all endowed with a holiness that escapes the escapees.

At least I haven't lost my sense of humor and that tells me that I'm on the 'right' track.

Like every good book ever written, as the page turns the plot develops.

Since here it is my plot...

Welcome to the new 'me'. I could tell you all about how this is all going to a plan I am already fully cognizant of but going that route will diminish the view you have already taken of me. Enjoy the Kodak moment because it is all yours.

Yeah, you still don't 'get' me. But now it looks like I'm gonna 'get' you!¹