Where I Stand Today
Where I stand changes not only from day to day, but from moment to moment. How is it ever possible to clearly define myself when it just doesn’t stand still long enough to get a good look at it and to say that it is THIS way or THAT way. It’s quite strange how this “I” doesn’t even feel like “me” and the effort to ‘figure this all out’ just isn’t there, so in order for me to come to some sort of clearly definable description as to where I stand becomes not impossible but highly improbable.
Besides all that, how is it ever possible to describe a thing when one IS that thing. I guess it could be done, but then one would have to pretend that one is not what one is but what one is describing. If that makes sense to you, then you are doing quite well.
Ideations aside, defining one’s self becomes pointless. Besides that, who would care other than one of like mind, and if that should happen then one of us just HAS to go!
This is not a journey, not a path and certainly not something which is to be examined, thought about and ‘figured out’. Gazing into Ourselves there is no time, there just IS. Treading lightly upon the souls of the weak, we endeavor to climb all over ourselves in order to reach the most high. What trash!
I consider myself in no form, no role, no fixed character traits and of no value. As the ‘me’ requires an enormous amount of energy, I have let the four winds carry it away and thereby gained release. It’s strange to say ‘release’ when that is not at all the concept involved here.
Going where no man has gone before, I might as well shrivel up and fade away into the oblivion of my own choosing. Translating Reality into content easily digestible by the masses becomes a demonstration in uselessness. Of what use has a blind man for a big screen tv? More likely a huge stereo would be a much better gift for the gifted.
Besides that, seeing is not believing and no matter how many times one may hear the truth it matters little if it is not wanted in the first place. “Give me what I want!” comes the all too typical cry of hysteria. When the mind reigns supreme there is little to be done but to talk to the Boss.
What does it all mean? Where will it all lead us to? What place has my Father reserved for me? Giving it all up does have its advantages but there really isn’t any ‘giving up’ to begin with. We are what we are, nothing more and nothing less - no matter what we may think or how hard we may try to not make it so. Purpose? For what purpose do we seek for our purpose? Who benefits? Certainly not Ourselves.
Mind games are quite entertaining and as we engage ourselves in life, we become the moving pictures upon the screen. Is not life all about accumulating experience? Well, as far as the mind goes, yes, it is true. It has a job to do and it will do it very well even in spite of the difficulties one places in front of it. But is that the way to reaching Ourselves. Who reaches and for what purpose? Back again we go to square one and start afresh.
How many times will we run the wheel of life before our mind relinquishes its energy we so lovingly and perpetually give it?