Ivan The Terrible
There once was a billy goat named Ivan. No, he wasn't terrible, just Ivan.
I've heard that goats can eat just about anything and everything. Now some will tell you it's all a myth, that goats do not eat tin cans. And then on the other side of the equation there is a woman who just tells it like it is.
Now this woman in the above link says this at the very end:
Know goats are stupid, so watch 'em like a hawk.
She is of course referring to 'stupid' as being the state of mind where a goat will eat anything - even if it kills itself, not that they are a stupid animal. There is a difference.
But it's true. Ivan should be watched like a hawk.1
That sucker can down everything thrown in his path. As a matter of fact it doesn't even have to be 'thrown', it can just lie there all innocent-like and sure enough... chomp!
Now you might be thinking that according to the woman's show and tell website page the goat comes out the loser. The poor thing is dead, done, left out in the open to rot and be eaten by other creatures. That can't be a good thing now can it. Surely no one in their right mind would say it all worked out.
But it did and does.
"Was that so terrible." says Ivan while munching on but another foreign object.2
Show and Tell
I couldn't help myself, I had to find some pictures. This first one is not a picture of Ivan nor is it even of a billy goat but that innocence, yeah just take a look at that!3
If I was a billy goat here is what I would look like. Make sure you notice that ear tag. I like to blend in with the natives. And that fence in the background. Yeah, it keeps me in. I know my place that is for sure.
(You really should click on the picture for a good lookie-see.)
While on the subject I found this highly informational piece. I'm sure that you would agree.
OK... so what's the difference between a buck and a billy; between a doe and a nanny? In my mind it's quality, not pedigree. A male goat with outstanding conformation to breed standards and great production records is a buck. A female goat with those same qualities plus great mothering capabilities is a doe. All others are either billys or nannys.
That is really something, isn't it?4
Well, they're stupid too but now you know a little bit more about that. ↩
I don't think that Ivan is capable of death. At least not in the way that you might think. Now that you mention it, what the heck is death anyway? Never mind, it's just a rhetorical fly buzzing around my head. Shoo! Now shoo! ↩
I wonder if that is true. ↩
It's okay if you can't put it all together. ↩