Killer Klowns [ page 2 ]
A long time ago several ‘buds’ got together to form a cluster of some self-inflicted gratuitous back slapping. There were good times to be had by all as each energized the other all in glorious ego-pumping fun. The laughs were many at the expense of others - fabulous fun!
Looking out across the vast emptiness of their environs the jubilation faded as the realization came home to notify them that not all is happy in the Land of Eden.
“Yeech!” cried the one called Miss Carriage, “We need to do something about that.”
Picking up the pace, Mar-Tay follows with, “I can understand why so many thetans come and go around here. Who would want to hang around here.”
Picking and choosing the timing Flubbard finally lays down the law. “I’ve got a plan…”
As his face flickers and takes on a moronic look Miss Carriage, hot on Flubbard’s heels, volunteers, “Hey that’s great. I’ve been biting my nails ever since we let the atmosphere out. Just look at this place.”
“Now don’t get yer panties in a bind little sis. Forget all that. Just because these here inhabitants took exception don’t mean we need to take it all personal like. Let it go. Here, and give it back when yer done.” Flubbard passes a well used handkerchief to Miss Carriage and patiently waits as the misses’ blows a good hard one and hands it back. Stuffing it back into his back pocket Flubbard lets off a good laugh which of course shakes his belly like a bowl of left-over jello.
“It’s time to celebrate!”
Feeling left out in the cold Mar-Tay decides to contribute his just due, “We did it once… why not again. You know, just to drive home the point.”
Jumping up and down with glee Grinder interjects, “I be drivin’ Miss Daisy!”
As Miss Carriage can’t help but let out a toothy smile, “Oh Grinder, you are just a darling! Come here and give daddy a nice big hug. You deserve a Big Mac.”
“Boys!” yells Flubbard with a stern look as he wags his finger at the both of them, “Ya’ll need to fo-cuss! I mean to leave another mark on the face of the planet so who’s with me? Who’s gonna drop the load like a ton of bricks and do some dam-age! We gonna watch them little doggies roll in the their graves as they gonna get some religion. You know what I mean - it’s payday and we are gonna collect us some loot. Ahem…”
Flubbard clears his throat and brings his ‘a tad overdone’ routine on line. “These are the times that try men’s souls. In this test of time we must come together and fight the good fight for it is at this time that the truth of man’s salvation can finally come to pass.”
And just then Miss Carriage let’s one go, the stink of which is quite overpowering.
Taking a deep sniff Mar-Tay nonchalantly enjoys a follow-up. “Holy crap Batman. That’s one heavy load you’re carrying. Let’s see if we can get the natives to fight over each other for a piece of it. There isn’t any time or place that I can’t lay to waste. Ha-ha, ‘lay to waste’ - I am so damn funny!”
Perturbed, Flubbard shakes his head and wonders just how these clowns are going to keep it together since they are already nearing the end of a very long leash.
“First one to out-do the others wins!” says Miss Carriage as he takes flight but not before gazing in the mirror of charm to ensure that his dapper self continues to smile in satisfaction knowing that the way to win friends and influence people is to look them in the eye with pleasant charm while stabbing them in the back with an ice pick worthy of a nuclear winter’s freeze.
While each one leaves Mars to seek fame and glory on planet Earth Flubbard remains behind just a tad longer in order to dictate another entry into his journal.
“Here it is another day in the life of greatness and those boys still haven’t a clue as to what I am up to. The Grand Council told me to tow the line and I sure am - the stupid pests. They will believe anything. The problem with empty promises is that I’ve got to keep coming up with some new and great explanation about how the universe works but that is after all my specialty. I love making up stories but what is really amazing is to see the thetan-jerks soak it all up like a sponge to hell. Xenu says I can’t be like him when I already am. The nice thing about family is that no one lies…”
As a bout of laughter echoes off the canyon walls the fade of black becomes evident.